Raven tells jokes

[RavenENTP]

Hey hey, here goes first one. Ok now

Little John comes to his papa and asks. "Have your mother ever hit you?". Dad says " No, only your mother".

Like it or hate it, i do not care

 

[RavenENTP]

Elephant escapes from Circus.
In police station telephone rings, the phone sounds drunken voice. "Hello!!!, Hello!!!, there are a rat on my field, a giant rat i tell you and he is tearing up my cabbages with his tail." Policeman: "And what he does with those cabbages?". Man on phone: "Ou,ee, aaah, when i tell you, eeh you dont believe me anyway."

 

[RavenENTP]

Why 17 blondes stand behind BAR door and waiting?

Spoiler

Because sign says 18+ allowed

 

[RavenENTP]

At early morning little John goes to kitchen to get a class of milk. He sees a strange man on kitchen and asks " Are you our new babysitter?"
"No little boy, i am your new mother******".

 

[RavenENTP]

Nurse: Doc, do you remember that faker on room 6?
Doc: Yea, what about him?
Nurse: Nothing, he died at night that's all.

 

[Wasted Eagle]

Two monkeys are in a bath tub.
Monkey One yells: 'Oohoohoohahaahaahaahaa!'
Monkey Two says: 'Add cold water, then...'

 

[RavenENTP]

Man drinks whiskey in kitchen, nearby is parrot in cage.
Parrot: " John, John, give me some". Man pours out some for parrot.
Parrot: " Not enough, give me more, more". Man pours out full class for bird and says " Tomorrow with hangover don't ask me more or i rip your wings off".
Tomorrow
Man drinks wine with hangover and parrot drys in cage.
Parrot: "John, John, i was thinking, shit with those wings...."

 

[calculator plz]

Hey hey, here goes first one. Ok now

Little John comes to his papa and asks. "Have your mother ever hit you?". Dad says " No, only your mother".

Like it or hate it, i do not care

Great can i have a present now THX, calculator plz

 

[RavenENTP]

You are posting at wrong thread, try windows trade forum instead

 

[RavenENTP]

Soldier asks from Sarge: " Do the crocodiles fly?
Sarge: " You retarded or something?"
Soldier: " But admiral sayd that crocs fly."
Sarge: " Ou ok, de facto they fly yes, but very very low."

 

[mo elbo]

bruce lee dus not drink water
he drinks wataaaaaa!!!!!

 

[mo elbo]

sorry guys i was reading your jokes and thaut why not throw one in there myself

 

[RavenENTP]

ook

 

[mo elbo]

how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it

 

[mo elbo]

what do american beer and making love in a canoe have in common

they 're both f*cking close to water

 

[Faith1984]

No update @RavenENTP ?

 

[calculator plz]

Jean how about some jokes for the middle of the week?

 

[RavenENTP]

3 crocodiles sitting on the tree. First one says, remember how our ancestry swimming in water?,Second one says, remember how did our ancestry crawled on earth. Third one, shut up and lets go collect honey. bzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[RavenENTP]

From uncle Jesse:
Uncle Jesse: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
Luke Duke: What?
Uncle Jesse: A piece of *ss that brings a tear to your eye.

 

[RavenENTP]

Uncle Jesse: Why are divorces so expensive?
Luke Duke: Why?
Uncle Jesse: 'Cause they're *worth* it!