Discussion - leaving an alliance

[jpm-wv]

In this thread, I do NOT ask for help but rather, I want to open up a discussion while attempting to provide healthy guidance. I know some people will probably just straw man me or consider me "disloyal". The thing is that I tend to see loyalty is a principal that is nuanced and often has to balanced by counter-principals (just like in real-life).

For purposes of this discussion, I need two classify clicking the "Leave" button into two categories:

1) Run-away - This is where you simply feel the need to click "Leave" without giving anyone any notice and regardless of the consequences to yourself and everyone else. Ideally, you should not do this but in some situations, this is actually necessary and even justified. Sometimes, something someone said or did can be so grievous that the relationship can NOT be salvaged or isn't worth the aggravation. Some alliance environments can be so toxic, it effects you. You might be in a crisis situation where you may have to leave IMMEDIATELY. You might also feel you are "unsafe" psychologically.

2) Walk away - This is where you have discussed your reasons for leaving your alliance with fellow members or at least the alliance leader as well as given careful consideration to the consequences for everyone (such as timing your leave or asking your alliance leader to "kick you out" at the appropriate time).

My general advice is:

1) Think about your decisions and what it will mean for you and everyone else.
2) If you are planning to leave the alliance and you can, discuss it with your fellow alliance members but be firm in your resolve. Sometimes, it's possible that you may be able to stay, but if leaving the RIGHT decision, be firm and leave little room for argument.
3) If nobody did anything wrong, state that explicitly.
4) Keep in mind that some people can very nasty about a person leaving their alliance and emotions can be high. Try to be as calm as you can.
5) If you had to "run-away" from your alliance and you can, do provide an explanation to your former alliance leader in calm manner that is not accusatory. Do not do this if you can't contact the leader, they are clearly at fault, you feel they are likely to retaliate, or they will attempt to do say things like, "You should be grateful to be here" or "You should be loyal and stay".
6) Do try to keep as many relationships as you can. Sometimes, the members of your former alliance can really help you later on. It's not unusual for me to be in trading relationships with some of them. You may need them later on and they might need you later on.

 

[flyhores]

I'm still sorry, but you have reached a higher level, and there are many places to learn from you.

 

[jpm-wv]

I'm still sorry, but you have reached a higher level, and there are many places to learn from you.

I think you are eluding to another issue that has been discussed before but may be worth discussing again.

That issue is that you have lower level players that do not know a lot of things and alliance leaders may not even know some things. I think one thing that can help is if we had highly skilled players with a background in a TOP50 or TOP20 alliance actually teach people at these lower levels. Sometimes, these highly players can actually teach things that lower level players can benefit from and help them prepare for reaching higher skill levels and alliances. Sometimes, it has to be presented in a scaled down version that a lower player can use and benefit from. Sometimes, a highly skilled player may have to be advise lower level players to do something that they would consider "foolish" if it is in that player's best interest to do.

 

[Capt BigNasty]

In this thread, I do NOT ask for help but rather, I want to open up a discussion while attempting to provide healthy guidance. I know some people will probably just straw man me or consider me "disloyal". The thing is that I tend to see loyalty is a principal that is nuanced and often has to balanced by counter-principals (just like in real-life).

For purposes of this discussion, I need two classify clicking the "Leave" button into two categories:

1) Run-away - This is where you simply feel the need to click "Leave" without giving anyone any notice and regardless of the consequences to yourself and everyone else. Ideally, you should not do this but in some situations, this is actually necessary and even justified. Sometimes, something someone said or did can be so grievous that the relationship can NOT be salvaged or isn't worth the aggravation. Some alliance environments can be so toxic, it effects you. You might be in a crisis situation where you may have to leave IMMEDIATELY. You might also feel you are "unsafe" psychologically.

2) Walk away - This is where you have discussed your reasons for leaving your alliance with fellow members or at least the alliance leader as well as given careful consideration to the consequences for everyone (such as timing your leave or asking your alliance leader to "kick you out" at the appropriate time).

My general advice is:

1) Think about your decisions and what it will mean for you and everyone else.
2) If you are planning to leave the alliance and you can, discuss it with your fellow alliance members but be firm in your resolve. Sometimes, it's possible that you may be able to stay, but if leaving the RIGHT decision, be firm and leave little room for argument.
3) If nobody did anything wrong, state that explicitly.
4) Keep in mind that some people can very nasty about a person leaving their alliance and emotions can be high. Try to be as calm as you can.
5) If you had to "run-away" from your alliance and you can, do provide an explanation to your former alliance leader in calm manner that is not accusatory. Do not do this if you can't contact the leader, they are clearly at fault, you feel they are likely to retaliate, or they will attempt to do say things like, "You should be grateful to be here" or "You should be loyal and stay".
6) Do try to keep as many relationships as you can. Sometimes, the members of your former alliance can really help you later on. It's not unusual for me to be in trading relationships with some of them. You may need them later on and they might need you later on.

Hello there fello WV pilot!